Christmas = goodies, drunk relatives, long car trips and lame historial towns

Hey there

Christmas. It was lots of fun. Yeah, there was a bit of sitting in the back seat of a Subaru, but it was cool. I am a good traveller. So, let me take you on a tour of my Christmas...

It started in Shepp-mate, with a vist to Mama and Papa's. They thought it would be great to take me to a miniture railway. Turns out I am poo-scared of tiny trains, so instead we wandered about the adjoining nursery.

Next to the nursery was a bunch of cubby houses on display. Now that's what I am talking about. See above? That's me escaping Papa's clutches in order to attack the next cubby house.

When in Shepp-mate, one must take in the cows. This year, I took Monkey along with me. He loved it.

Then it was Melbourne. We went to the Fairfield Boathouse, a weird throwback to the 1930s. And there were ducks...a whole load of ducking ducks, as far as you could ducking see. Duck me. I fed them some food. They like that.

Then it was off to Anglesea to Auntie Kara's place. There was a bit of beach action of course. Especially on Christmas day when....

....Santa was going to show up in a surf boat. The locals go nuts for this sort of thing.

Dad was overcome with Santa goodness. I missed out on a balloon and lollies. Lucky we had heaps of food back at Auntie Kara's place.

Back there was also lots of presents. Try to keep your eyes on me and not on Dad's t-shirt. That colour will burn your retinas.

I got to spend some quality time with Auntie Kara, which was bulk ace. Although I have learnt not to ask any hard questions... Oh, hang on, no, I think we were feeding the invisible rozellas. Man I love them.

Then it was back to Melbourne and some time with Siddy. We bonded in the pool. Seconds after this pic was taken, Auntie Alice would tip a watering can full of water on me. I am too young to get her back now...but you will keep Alice. Sleep with one eye open lady...

Then it was a long trip home. Dad insisted we stop in Glenrowan, because he has driven past it about one million times (his estimate) and never been into town. Now we have done the Ned Kelly thing, I can tell you this - we won't be doing it again. See this pic above? That's Ned made out of logs. He has no arms. How crap is that?

In all, Christmas was pretty damn fun. As Christmas should be.

Cheers
Harper

Melb again - Happy Birthday Sid

Hi ya

My main Melbourne man (ironically called Sidney) turned one in November. Obviously I had to be there, being his serious Sydney, er, señor.

It was good to get some time to just chill wit' Siddy amongst all of the festivity. I was trying to tell him to just relax, go with the flow, wear some beads man, feel the love but I got the impression Sid was not listening to me...

He was thinking about cake. Cakey cakey cake. And lamingtons. And some more cake.

I got the taste for snakes - the lolly ones of course. Dad says I can't kill, skin and eat my own real snake till I am at least four.

And here's me with Mrs Kissy Kissy. I think her real name is Lucy, but it's all about the kissy kissy.

Hmmm, if this late November....there must be some fat man in a red suit turning up soon...

Cheers
Harper

Perth trip

Hi again

I went to Perth in November. Lovely Lisa and and that nice Heath bloke got married, we caught up with totally ace Uncle Ed, Auntie Jac and Michael, went down to Bussleton and mum and an old friend caught up for the first time in 10 years or something. And Mama and Papa were along for the ride, during which Mama taught me to say 'lipstick'.

You had better ask her why that was a good idea.

Of course, flying to the other side of the country can give one jet lag. I'd been down the river to watch some Red Bull air race.

Uncle Ed took us out on the boat to swan about the Swan River and eat ourselves silly.

Mum and Dad took me down to Cottesloe Beach, which is lovely and blue. We ate fish and chips which were yummy as well. Didn't see any sharks though. Just a beached whale with legs.

When we went down to Bussleton, it rained. And rained. So we went to some wineries. While Dad enjoyed tasting things, I enjoyed various toys on offer. At the Mad Fish winery, they had ace toys and a fish pond right outside the window which transfixed Mama as well.

We went down to Freo, as you do, and walked about a few old places. These steps go up to a really really old jail. I ate a Vegemite sandwich then starred in some photos with some tourists. Papa saw the funny side of it all.

Here's us with Annie and her boy Ryder. Mum and Annie went to school together, which was boring so Ryder and I ran wild and had a great time. Annie's bloke Brent (or Brett or Mark, he doesn't mind what he is called) is tops as well.

But the big event was Lisa and Heath's hitching in a lovely park in East Perth. Mum and Dad scrubbed up and had a great time, or so they told me, as after the service, I went back to the apartment with Mama and Papa.

Before I left though, I snuck in a bubble and a bikkie. Yum.

Mmm, November, that must mean my Melbourne man is turning one soon....

Cheers
Harper

Sorry fans its been a while ...

Hi everyone

Where does the time go? One minute, I am snoozing in my swing in September, the next minute, it's the end of January. Was it all a dream? No, mum tooks pics, so it couldn't have been.....

One reason I haven't blogged for a while was I was waiting for my new office furniture from IKEA. It finally got delivered and I now can get to work

We went to the zoo, where I insisted on everyone checking out the elephants. No seriously, look at them! What on earth is going on there?

Mum and I went for a stroll around the zoo. We are thinking of opening a mother-and-son hat modelling agency.

After the Mighty Hawks embarrassed the lame Cats in the AFL Grand Final, it was onto the couch to see the Newtown Jets could overcome their Grand Final hoodoo and snare a win. Turns out, they couldn't, and they lost again ... losers. Dad and Svenny just shrugged and said "lucky they have KB at Henno'' and went back to talking about the AFL.

Righty, there are plenty more blogs coming in the next few days as dad, er, I mean me, gets their act together.

Cheers
Harper

Round, round, I get around

Hi fans

Sorry, it's been a while. I have been busy. Being home, in Melbourne, having guests, being in the Central West, doing stuff...man, it makes me tired.

How tired? In reverse chronological order...

I was this tired. I love my swing but this day, was just too damn tired

Why? Hooning down the side of the house with no pants on is seriously tiring

Almost as tiring as Dad after the Mighty Hawks snared the Big One. Gee, would hate to be a Cats fan. Man, what losers.

That's why I am all about the Hawks. Dad wants to point out the headband was bought at the 1989 Grand Final (he was there, the Hawks beat the Cats that day too)

Then I was in Melbourne, cos my great grand mother passed away. I am not sure why I was dressing like I was in Devo, but I know this - when a problem comes along, you must lick it...

While down south, I caught up with all the family, including Aunty Alice and Siddy. Stripes are still in

And I finally met Uncle Tom and Aunty Lucy, or as they are now known, Dr Touchy and Mrs Kissy Kissy

Then I spent some quality time with Aunty Kara and her bloke Matho. We went to Werribee Mansion, and the only poo we could smell was mine

Here's a pic of Siddy. He is trying out for Who Wants To Be A Baby Super Model? Turns out he does, but he can't roll left

My popa and nana were in town - showing off my tummy is what they like to do

I've been to Orange and Bathurst as well. Dad and I were mugged by a gang of angry duckies. They took all our bread, man

We stayed in Bathurst with Emma, Craig and their lads Oli and Nicco. They liked Dad - just after this pic was taken, Oli and Nicco took him prisioner. I totally had to go Rambo on their nappy-clad bums and bring Dad back alive...

I am a dead set artistic genius as it turns out. Mum and dad are a bit surprised as they can barely draw a stick figure

Yeah, the girls who live behind us are still totally into me and like, bug me all the time, you know, just wanting to hang out and know what colour I like, where I get my ace trackies from...

And I got my first proper haircut. Dad still can't believe mum paid $14 for this. I look good though - that's all that matters

Will update more often now life is back to normal...

Cheers
Harper

Do you see what I see?

Hi

An extra special blog tonight - a revealing look into my world, from my point of view. I took these pics (yes, really, no bull) on what I consider my digital camera.

So, come with me, down to my height, and see what I see.

Somewhere up there, there is a magical thing that makes bread into toast.

This is mum, standing in front of the thing that makes my baked beans warm.

A self portrait. Too many people are hung up on little things like 'focus'. In the background is Shannon, who was up from Melbourne. Between us is Captain Flash, the ace bear he gave me.

My crocodile eats pegs. Bet yours doesn't.

I have a habit of just leaving my keys lying about the place. They contrast nicely with the floorboards. I like the juxtaposition of the keys, symbolising freedom, against the wood, symbolising the tree's inability to fight the chainsaw. Hmmm.

This is from my moody period, where I was exploring backlit door frames. Very Bill Henson, except for the lack of nudity. Although, I may have been nude when I took this. I do my best work sans-pants.

A study of handles. These handles open cupboards. I don't know what is in there, my parents have installed some evil magnet lock system that I am yet to crack. But I will. Far left is the pantry - the happiest place on Earth. Mmm, biscuits.

And this is, well, me. This pic was taken by mum. I am not sure why she was using my camera. My mum is my tutor in the art of photography, although as you can see above, I think the student is now teaching the teacher.

If you want to make some money, invest in my art now. Talk to my dealer.

Ciao bellas.

Harper

Hey fishy fishy

Hi there

Ah, while some people have been over in China or somewhere, running and splashing about, I have been creating my own set of personal bests here, where it counts.

See below:

Best blowfish on the shower screen door. It is important to use as much chin as possible.

Loudest disagreement with mum over something. I think I wanted the camera. Or food.

Longest time spent lying on the floor at Marrickville library. I am really getting into David Sedaris. Man does he have a weird family.

Most ready to roll nude at night. That kinda explains it all really.

Best spit of dummy when special visitors leave. Ken and Dawn came to visit, then had to go to some posh function. How can I compete?

Most indifferent to a photo being taken. At the Jets with Jo and Zac (and Dad, the bogan). Thanks for the chips and python Jo. The seagulls loved them.

Most unsure about drinking out of a gumboot held by a Lions fan. Lucky the Hawks BELTED them.

Best milk moustache. It's almost ye-olde.

Best kiss through a screen door. It's not gay this way. Or weird. Or it might be too late anyway. Gotta stop reading David Sedaris...

Yep, more gold gold gold for me.

Cheers
Harper