Got the skills to pay the bills

Hi everyone

I have many skills, as I am sure you all know. But have you actually seen these skills in action?

Now you can. See below:

Gardening: Here's me potting a gardenia. I am also excellent at wearing mum's green bead necklace.

Advising on gardening: mum needs a bit of assistance in potting plants. This is why I like to shove my hand into potting mix. You know, to help.

Watching: I like to make sure things are all above board on Moore St. I also do a little Buddhist meditation on this bench. This is why I have a fat belly.

Supervising: Dad needs advice on how to rake. I keep telling him to tape up the handle so he doesn't get splinters, but do you think he listens? No. That's why he does the manual labour while I sit and watch.

Art critiquing: I went to the Sydney Biennale, some sort of contemporary art festival mum said. Bollocks - contemporary art is what you call art any idiot could come up with, in my opinion. Like this sign. Yes, this is freedom, you arty idiot, you are lucky I don't whack you over the head with this sign for being a ponce. Or maybe I should stop listening to dad and his views on art...

Contemporary artisting: So, as any idiot can make art, I had a crack. This is called Spagart, and it's an installation in our kitchen made from a high chair and spaghetti. It really questions the relationship pasta has with my mouth.

Sprinting: Yeah baby, I can run. Well, walk very fast then fall over. Might be too late for Beijing, but the next Olympics, or even the one after that, I am a goer. It's these chubby sprinter's thighs that are the secret to my pace.

Australia's next top modeling: Chicks dig me, as we all know. Here I am, just chillin' at the Botanical Gardens, when these ladies beg for a picture. Who am I to say no? I don't ever disappoint a lady.

So there you are, another brilliant look into the life of me. Mad skills, I've paid all them bills. And I am probably in credit you know.

Cheers
Harper

Workin' 9 to 5

Hiya there

Working 9 to 5? That's nothing. This being a kid thing just doesn't end. From the moment I wake up at around 6.15am till the moment I nod off about 7pm, I am workin' it hard. The below photos are all the proof you need.

Here I am, reviewing important paper work first thing. It is critical I make the aeroplane take off. Over and over again. It is a busy airport indeed, the title of the book certainly is no lie.

Every hard worker needs a morning tea snack. As beer and donuts are not allowed, a Sao with Vegemite is the choice. You know, I do like Vegemite. Sometimes, I even get it in my mouth.

Emptying the tub o' toys is a daily job. It just never seems to end. I empty it, then next day, as if by magic, all my stuff is back in the tub again.

Gotta lot of pressure in this job, typing up reports for the boss, paying the accounts, booking the trolley in for a service. The red wheel, which is the left back, has developed a squeak. Might be the brakes. That's all I need, another bill...

Then I have the grounds maintenance to keep up. These plants don't just grow themselves, oh no, that's a common misconception stupid people have. They need to be watered, from a can, even if there is no water in the can.

The right footwear is essential for the job. I use and recommend Dunlop Volleys. And snappy red pants.

That's just a sample of my working day. I think I am only up to lunch here.

Oh, and a big shout out to my Mighty Hawks. Man that win against Adelaide was super sweet. So Dad told me, I was of course in bed.

Right, time for baked beans and yoghurt. Not together, of course, cos that would be too weird.

Cheers
Harper

Walking the walk

Hi peeps

Just been getting up to the usual around here, you know, growing and stuff. Doing lots of walking now I am feeling better, I set a new record just tonight of 22-odd steps without falling on my bum. Was pretty impressed with myself as well, let me tell you.

This pic was supposed to be all about me, until mum's dirty pink thong snuck into frame.

I've been a bit unwell, had a bit of a temperature and stuff, turned out my throat was all yukky. I do really like the medicine though. Mmmm, mango.

Dad is such a nerd, he likes playing with my building blocks. I am not sure what the thing on the left is, I think mum sniggered though. Dad was so impressed with himself cos he used all 50 blocks. I was so impressed I trashed his creations. The fall of Rome has nothing on me.

Cousin Robin came over with a real life example of a prosthetic limb. I didn't know what that was until dad said 'hey, ace fake leg'. Then it all made sense. Once I worked out what a leg was and learnt that you could lose one. I have been very careful with mine since, and happy to report I still have both my own.

Mum thinks she is hilarious, trying to get silly pics of me...

...but I had my revenge. Some people make 'rabbits ears' behind people's heads in pics. I prefer something much more subtle.

On dad's birthday, we went for a ride out at Homebush. I was pretty stoked, with a biscuit in each hand, I thought it was Christmas again. Dad promised me he wouldn't shoot fairies in my direction.

While dad pondered the best way back, I decided to make a break for it. The beanie under the helmet was to make the helmet fit better. It's not a fashion statement. Of course, I am wearing stripes. That is a fashion statement.

A big hello to mama and papa, who are right now buying me lots of things in Europe somewhere. I wish them all the best on their most important mission.

Will try to do another blog soon. When I am done counting my legs.

Cheers
Harper