Hell on wheels

Hi everyone

More pics of me, cos that's what you're here for.

I have finally got the knack of going forwards on my ace trike. This makes it much easier to see where I am going, as unlike mum, I don't have eyes in the back of my head.

Here is me hanging out with Imogen. As you can see, we both like vegemite and shaggy hair. And strangely suspended play equipment.

This shaggy hair is just perfect for catching the sun and looking angellic. I so know this.

Here's me and Georgia, my backdoor neighbour, spelling words on the fridge. I seem to have no clothes on. This seems to happen around 6pm every night for some reason. I think we are trying to spell 'nudey boy'.

Yep, this me feeding myself thing is going a treat. Here's a trick I learnt off Uncle Aaron. The spoon is just for decoration really.

It's just as well I like yoghurt. And I will eat it however I want.

Yep, just snippets from my go-go life. Now I am 15 months old, it just busy all the time. And stuff.

Talk to my people if you want to know more.

Cheers
Harper

It's all about the rock

Hi fans

As we all know, it is my destiny to be a rock star. I had no idea it would happen so quick. Let me explain...

It started with me doing my best Tim Farris impersonation - except I am not as fat and my trolley is way better than his skateboard. (for those who have forgotten, Tim Farris was the talentless one in INXS who was old and fat)

So I sat down and wrote a couple of killer riffs on my guitar and xylephone. Totally thumbs up.

Then I came up with a killer solo, it was so good, I only needed one hand to totally shred.

I then threw a few words together. They went a little something like this:

I like the custard
I like the stew
And in the mornings
I like to poo

I like the stroller
I like the car
And in the evenings
I like mum's bra

Cos I'm a hard-rockin', sweet talkin' ladies man
Slammin' shots of milk, get lovin' where I can
Another town, another cot
Dont touch me! I'm too damn hot!

Well my super rock hit 'Too Damn Hot' went to number one, got played every three minutes on Triple M and I was inundated with fans. Above is a pic of me kissing one. Yeah, Ok, she was a bit of a dog, but you gotta look after your admirers.

And then I won an ARIA Award for 'Best New Release by a Child Under Two Years of Age'. I pipped one of them Australian Idol kiddies. And rightly so. This is a cheeky pic of me thanking my manager, Mum. She wasn't expecting this much thanks...

So, now I am a massive solo artist, there is only one thing left to do. Form a superband with the biggest rock star in Melbourne, and that would be my man Sid. Now he has dumped that talentless mum of his, we can rule the world's stages.

Rock it
Harper

Farmyard antics

Hi everyone

Yep, a bonus blog.

Huzzah! Last week, mum and I went out to Lisa's place at Badgery's Creek. Her and her fella Greg have a bunch of chooks and dogs and stuff, cos they like that sort of thing. Turns out, I do too.

It wasn't just me and mum though, Linda and her kids Naomi, James, Chloe and Olivia were there, as was Bec and her two girls, Grace and Laura.

This is Lisa showing Grace and James a chook. Yes James, they look different to nuggets.

Mum thinks Olivia and I could be twins. We should get some rings, so we can say Wonder Twins powers...activate! As I am Zan, and cool, I take the form of a glacier, while Olivia, who is Jayna, she would be an eagle. Then we would beat up the baddies.

Grace was right to wonder what I was doing here. Actually, I was just getting to know the chickens a little better, understand their life style, you know, bond a bit. By lying in their coop.

The Roberts/Clark clan, from left - Naomi, Laura, Bec, Chloe, Olivia, Linda and James. I think I was lying down with the chickens at this point.

So there you have it, this city boy sometimes gets out into the country (well, kinda not really but sorta) to mix it with the farmyard animals.

Lots of fun.

Cheers
Harper

Where is the oven? No, really?

Hi there

Hanging out in Victoria was fun. As these beaut pics prove...

Here's me, mum and Sidney. As usual, mum is obsessed with Sid. At least I got the memo it was 'wear green' day. Mum is holding 23kg of prime beef here.

After a bath, I like to hang out with mama and tell her all about, well, the bath. It was wet. I then did a nudie run and there might be some pics of me posing it up with Auntie Alice. But, you know, with this Bill Henson drama, I just can't publish them here.

Papa may have had an operation on his hand, but he was still cool with carrying me about the Ryan family grounds in Shep-mate. Papa had been hunting - look at all those nappies he captured!

I never knew till this trip that Sid was a cowboy. Here he is strapped in to enjoy some grits.

The London Underground looks like spaghetti. Makes me hungry.

Family lunch in Shep-mate. The coolest people are sitting on the floor eating grated cheese. As you can see, Greg, Alice, Sid, papa and mama are therefore not cool. Sid should so ditch the mashed pumpkin and move on to biscuits.

Time to leave Shep. I was done with that town - it's too small for me, and mum wouldn't let me cruise down the Lake to chuck some laps. Not even visit the Kenwood Cow outside the Aussie.

Who said mum is boring? Um, that would be me and Sid on the drive back to Melbourne.

Yeah, the boys hanging in the kitchen. Greg is asking me here for some advice on home renovation. My advice on kitchens proved invaluable, as the next day Greg ripped the oven out and put a new one...in the lounge room. I didn't tell him to do that. Promise.

My robot twin Sidney is sucking on a toy cone. You can stack them up real high. Well, you used to be able to...I totally hid the blue ones. Good luck finding them Auntie Alice...

Yeah, Victoria huh? Might live here one day.

Cheers
Harper

It's Shep-mate

Hi there

I've been hanging out in Shep-mate with mum, mama, papa and for a few days, Auntie Alice, Uncle Greg and my boy, Sidney.

The below pics really tell the story...

Mum: Let's swap kids, it will be ace. Alice: Sure, yours is probably lighter. Mum: Let's make them look like the Village People. Me: Yeah, I will YMCA this time only.

Mum: Mama, Papa, you should join in. Mama and Papa: That sounds great. Alice: Isn't Sidney just lovely? Me: Hang on, this is supposed to be about me.

Mum: Where you going Harper? Me: I don't like where this is going. Alice: Oh, little man, you want a biscuit? Mum: Look at that tummy, he don't need a biscuit. Me: Hey, I'm not fat, just too short for my weight.

Me: Hey Uncle Greg, you better stop taking pictures mate or there will be problems. Greg: Are they green beads you are wearing? Me: I don't have to take this...

Me: Shep-mate is a big place, I am sure I can find other people who appreciate green beads on a 14-month-old.

Cheers
Harper