Round, round, I get around

Hi fans

Sorry, it's been a while. I have been busy. Being home, in Melbourne, having guests, being in the Central West, doing stuff...man, it makes me tired.

How tired? In reverse chronological order...

I was this tired. I love my swing but this day, was just too damn tired

Why? Hooning down the side of the house with no pants on is seriously tiring

Almost as tiring as Dad after the Mighty Hawks snared the Big One. Gee, would hate to be a Cats fan. Man, what losers.

That's why I am all about the Hawks. Dad wants to point out the headband was bought at the 1989 Grand Final (he was there, the Hawks beat the Cats that day too)

Then I was in Melbourne, cos my great grand mother passed away. I am not sure why I was dressing like I was in Devo, but I know this - when a problem comes along, you must lick it...

While down south, I caught up with all the family, including Aunty Alice and Siddy. Stripes are still in

And I finally met Uncle Tom and Aunty Lucy, or as they are now known, Dr Touchy and Mrs Kissy Kissy

Then I spent some quality time with Aunty Kara and her bloke Matho. We went to Werribee Mansion, and the only poo we could smell was mine

Here's a pic of Siddy. He is trying out for Who Wants To Be A Baby Super Model? Turns out he does, but he can't roll left

My popa and nana were in town - showing off my tummy is what they like to do

I've been to Orange and Bathurst as well. Dad and I were mugged by a gang of angry duckies. They took all our bread, man

We stayed in Bathurst with Emma, Craig and their lads Oli and Nicco. They liked Dad - just after this pic was taken, Oli and Nicco took him prisioner. I totally had to go Rambo on their nappy-clad bums and bring Dad back alive...

I am a dead set artistic genius as it turns out. Mum and dad are a bit surprised as they can barely draw a stick figure

Yeah, the girls who live behind us are still totally into me and like, bug me all the time, you know, just wanting to hang out and know what colour I like, where I get my ace trackies from...

And I got my first proper haircut. Dad still can't believe mum paid $14 for this. I look good though - that's all that matters

Will update more often now life is back to normal...

Cheers
Harper

Do you see what I see?

Hi

An extra special blog tonight - a revealing look into my world, from my point of view. I took these pics (yes, really, no bull) on what I consider my digital camera.

So, come with me, down to my height, and see what I see.

Somewhere up there, there is a magical thing that makes bread into toast.

This is mum, standing in front of the thing that makes my baked beans warm.

A self portrait. Too many people are hung up on little things like 'focus'. In the background is Shannon, who was up from Melbourne. Between us is Captain Flash, the ace bear he gave me.

My crocodile eats pegs. Bet yours doesn't.

I have a habit of just leaving my keys lying about the place. They contrast nicely with the floorboards. I like the juxtaposition of the keys, symbolising freedom, against the wood, symbolising the tree's inability to fight the chainsaw. Hmmm.

This is from my moody period, where I was exploring backlit door frames. Very Bill Henson, except for the lack of nudity. Although, I may have been nude when I took this. I do my best work sans-pants.

A study of handles. These handles open cupboards. I don't know what is in there, my parents have installed some evil magnet lock system that I am yet to crack. But I will. Far left is the pantry - the happiest place on Earth. Mmm, biscuits.

And this is, well, me. This pic was taken by mum. I am not sure why she was using my camera. My mum is my tutor in the art of photography, although as you can see above, I think the student is now teaching the teacher.

If you want to make some money, invest in my art now. Talk to my dealer.

Ciao bellas.

Harper

Hey fishy fishy

Hi there

Ah, while some people have been over in China or somewhere, running and splashing about, I have been creating my own set of personal bests here, where it counts.

See below:

Best blowfish on the shower screen door. It is important to use as much chin as possible.

Loudest disagreement with mum over something. I think I wanted the camera. Or food.

Longest time spent lying on the floor at Marrickville library. I am really getting into David Sedaris. Man does he have a weird family.

Most ready to roll nude at night. That kinda explains it all really.

Best spit of dummy when special visitors leave. Ken and Dawn came to visit, then had to go to some posh function. How can I compete?

Most indifferent to a photo being taken. At the Jets with Jo and Zac (and Dad, the bogan). Thanks for the chips and python Jo. The seagulls loved them.

Most unsure about drinking out of a gumboot held by a Lions fan. Lucky the Hawks BELTED them.

Best milk moustache. It's almost ye-olde.

Best kiss through a screen door. It's not gay this way. Or weird. Or it might be too late anyway. Gotta stop reading David Sedaris...

Yep, more gold gold gold for me.

Cheers
Harper

Hell on wheels

Hi everyone

More pics of me, cos that's what you're here for.

I have finally got the knack of going forwards on my ace trike. This makes it much easier to see where I am going, as unlike mum, I don't have eyes in the back of my head.

Here is me hanging out with Imogen. As you can see, we both like vegemite and shaggy hair. And strangely suspended play equipment.

This shaggy hair is just perfect for catching the sun and looking angellic. I so know this.

Here's me and Georgia, my backdoor neighbour, spelling words on the fridge. I seem to have no clothes on. This seems to happen around 6pm every night for some reason. I think we are trying to spell 'nudey boy'.

Yep, this me feeding myself thing is going a treat. Here's a trick I learnt off Uncle Aaron. The spoon is just for decoration really.

It's just as well I like yoghurt. And I will eat it however I want.

Yep, just snippets from my go-go life. Now I am 15 months old, it just busy all the time. And stuff.

Talk to my people if you want to know more.

Cheers
Harper

It's all about the rock

Hi fans

As we all know, it is my destiny to be a rock star. I had no idea it would happen so quick. Let me explain...

It started with me doing my best Tim Farris impersonation - except I am not as fat and my trolley is way better than his skateboard. (for those who have forgotten, Tim Farris was the talentless one in INXS who was old and fat)

So I sat down and wrote a couple of killer riffs on my guitar and xylephone. Totally thumbs up.

Then I came up with a killer solo, it was so good, I only needed one hand to totally shred.

I then threw a few words together. They went a little something like this:

I like the custard
I like the stew
And in the mornings
I like to poo

I like the stroller
I like the car
And in the evenings
I like mum's bra

Cos I'm a hard-rockin', sweet talkin' ladies man
Slammin' shots of milk, get lovin' where I can
Another town, another cot
Dont touch me! I'm too damn hot!

Well my super rock hit 'Too Damn Hot' went to number one, got played every three minutes on Triple M and I was inundated with fans. Above is a pic of me kissing one. Yeah, Ok, she was a bit of a dog, but you gotta look after your admirers.

And then I won an ARIA Award for 'Best New Release by a Child Under Two Years of Age'. I pipped one of them Australian Idol kiddies. And rightly so. This is a cheeky pic of me thanking my manager, Mum. She wasn't expecting this much thanks...

So, now I am a massive solo artist, there is only one thing left to do. Form a superband with the biggest rock star in Melbourne, and that would be my man Sid. Now he has dumped that talentless mum of his, we can rule the world's stages.

Rock it
Harper

Farmyard antics

Hi everyone

Yep, a bonus blog.

Huzzah! Last week, mum and I went out to Lisa's place at Badgery's Creek. Her and her fella Greg have a bunch of chooks and dogs and stuff, cos they like that sort of thing. Turns out, I do too.

It wasn't just me and mum though, Linda and her kids Naomi, James, Chloe and Olivia were there, as was Bec and her two girls, Grace and Laura.

This is Lisa showing Grace and James a chook. Yes James, they look different to nuggets.

Mum thinks Olivia and I could be twins. We should get some rings, so we can say Wonder Twins powers...activate! As I am Zan, and cool, I take the form of a glacier, while Olivia, who is Jayna, she would be an eagle. Then we would beat up the baddies.

Grace was right to wonder what I was doing here. Actually, I was just getting to know the chickens a little better, understand their life style, you know, bond a bit. By lying in their coop.

The Roberts/Clark clan, from left - Naomi, Laura, Bec, Chloe, Olivia, Linda and James. I think I was lying down with the chickens at this point.

So there you have it, this city boy sometimes gets out into the country (well, kinda not really but sorta) to mix it with the farmyard animals.

Lots of fun.

Cheers
Harper

Where is the oven? No, really?

Hi there

Hanging out in Victoria was fun. As these beaut pics prove...

Here's me, mum and Sidney. As usual, mum is obsessed with Sid. At least I got the memo it was 'wear green' day. Mum is holding 23kg of prime beef here.

After a bath, I like to hang out with mama and tell her all about, well, the bath. It was wet. I then did a nudie run and there might be some pics of me posing it up with Auntie Alice. But, you know, with this Bill Henson drama, I just can't publish them here.

Papa may have had an operation on his hand, but he was still cool with carrying me about the Ryan family grounds in Shep-mate. Papa had been hunting - look at all those nappies he captured!

I never knew till this trip that Sid was a cowboy. Here he is strapped in to enjoy some grits.

The London Underground looks like spaghetti. Makes me hungry.

Family lunch in Shep-mate. The coolest people are sitting on the floor eating grated cheese. As you can see, Greg, Alice, Sid, papa and mama are therefore not cool. Sid should so ditch the mashed pumpkin and move on to biscuits.

Time to leave Shep. I was done with that town - it's too small for me, and mum wouldn't let me cruise down the Lake to chuck some laps. Not even visit the Kenwood Cow outside the Aussie.

Who said mum is boring? Um, that would be me and Sid on the drive back to Melbourne.

Yeah, the boys hanging in the kitchen. Greg is asking me here for some advice on home renovation. My advice on kitchens proved invaluable, as the next day Greg ripped the oven out and put a new one...in the lounge room. I didn't tell him to do that. Promise.

My robot twin Sidney is sucking on a toy cone. You can stack them up real high. Well, you used to be able to...I totally hid the blue ones. Good luck finding them Auntie Alice...

Yeah, Victoria huh? Might live here one day.

Cheers
Harper