Firsts

Hi there

Yes, three blogs in one night. Mum must have spiked my dinner with caffeine.

This is more just a list of recent 'firsts'. You'll see what I mean...

First time standing in the middle of Henson Park Marrickville, home of the mighty Newtown Jets (they won 32-0 that day as well. Take that Bulldogs). You might want to zoom a touch to see me...

First time exploring a Slurpee Cup in a park in Brisbane (and not the first time mum has dressed me in this t-shirt then taken pics). Dad does like Brisbane, honestly.

First time in a carwash. And last, thank you very much mum and dad (who thought it was hilarious). Car was clean though.

First time driving a boat on Sydney Harbour. It was a little 18-footer than belongs to Michael and Anna. They live on the far Northern Beaches (like, camp overnight it was so far from Campsie) where it is pretty. And doesn't mum look rather pleased with herself?

First bath with no water. Yes, I have discovered the joy of plugs, and how sliding around in an empty bath is ripper fun. And very environmentally friendly of me. Except that it was full of water before I let it out. Er...anyway.

First walking. Here's me impressing Olivia with my mad vertical skills.

First Milk Arrowroot biscuit. Ava is in total awe of the way I totally eat this biscuit. People say the first one is the best, but I disagree - I reckon my one millionth might be. I reckon I am half way there.

First time I pointed out to Uncle Aaron that the Brisbane Lions suck. The mighty Hawks did the business at the Gabba that night.

First Greek Easter. Smashing hardboiled eggs is totally grouse. I could so be Greek just for that.

Cheers
Harper

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...

Hi

I'm one! I know, I can hardly believe it myself. One minute, life was simply sleep, poo and food...do it again. Now it's far more complex, sleep, poo, food and try to destroy everying in the house. And now I am the king of all before me. And one. And getting heaps of ace presents.

So, with no further ado:

Thursday, May 1. Time - friggin' early. Mum and dad give me a present. Gee, wonder what it could be...

Yes, OMG, it's a ball. With more pimples on it that an entire McDonalds crew. I like to kick it.

Later that morning, Mum made cupcakes. I sat guard, waiting for them to cook. A watched pot never boils apparently. But watched cup cakes do cook, even if the oven is crap.

At park, I got to hang out with all my girls. Here, front left is Olivia, and to the right is Ava. Behind me is Linda and that chick in the green hoodie looks familiar as well.

Saturday, May 3. Time...about lunch-ish. I survey my family, who are in town to see me. And shower me with love. And building block, books, pull-along dogs, clothes and more. Uncle Aaron snapped this artistic pic. I think he had sampled a few of dad's special drinks, the ones in the green bottle with Cascade written on it. Not even on my birthday did I get a sip. Harsh.

I do like to play with my truck, on the pebbles, under the big tree. Auntie Kara is keeping guard, just waiting for me to put a pebble in my mouth. I don't eat them, more let them sit on my mouth. Hey, I don't know why, I am only one.

Dad cooked lunch. Somewhere in the smoke is the BBQ. Dad must have been sampling a few of his special drinks, cos it looks here as if he is conducting some sort of smokey orchestra. Or trying to raise the dead with some kind of American Indian smoking ceremony. I wish he wouldn't do that on my birthday.

Back at the table, Uncle Greggy, Sid and I were having an indepth discussion about the important stuff. Here I am explaining to them why food tastes better after being smeared into the table for a bit.

Cake time. Apparently I can't blow out candles. If I could talk, I would have told mum and dad to turn me around...I could knock the house down with some of that action. Apparently it's called 'shooting a fairy'. Anyway, chocolate cake with sprinkles is yum.

'Made it to one' they said. Cheeky buggers, every day with me has been a blessing.

Check out the ace candles mum found at some shop that sells ace candles. I think it was called 'The Ace Candle Shop'. And please ingore the couple dressing. Mum spends too much time in the 'Stripey Clothes' shop.

And yes, I know, it was my party, and damn it I will cry if I want to. Actually, I was just trying to tell the papparazzi to back off for a few minutes.

Presents...it was a bonanza of beaut gifts, everything a one-year-old could want. And check out the honey joys in the bottom left - I would later smear them all over my face in a cornflakey and honey extravaganza.

Sunday, May 4. Time...arvo. Dad, Auntie Kara and Ma ma are off shopping in Newtown, Alice and Greg are tormenting Sid and Papa has passed out like a vagrant. Mum kept telling him to ease up with the cooking sherry, but you know Papa.

Ah, so many memories. If I was older, I would remember them.

Thanks to everyone who came, and I apologise for lifting the bar on backyard birthday's so high. Siddy, you better start planning now buddy.

Cheers
Harper

Siddy PJ verses Harper MP

Hi all

Recently, my little cousin Sidney busted a rhyme on my bottom. This is my reply:

The bar’s been raised

The challenge been set

Now I gotta step it on up

Gotta be the best yet

Gotta serve it up to Siddy

And his Melbourne style

Rappin’ ‘bout his ladies

All round the dial

Well he is packing nuthin’

But his toddler tits

While I’m running circles

With my rhyming wits

I ain’t down with bragging

But I’ve got the sweet hair

And I can walk a bit

When I’m pushing a chair

I’ve got a set of pearlies

Leave you wanting more

And I love to say ‘yeah baby!’

When I’m on the floor

I’ve got a way with the girls

When I’m playing hard to get

They’re all falling for my charms

While I’m grabbing on their – HO!

So Siddy when you’re sittin’

Wondering what to do

You can ponder my last line –

We all know who has the best BBQ

Word!

Yeah, as you can see, I celebrated a bit too much after serving Sid.

Never again, Todd McKenney, never again.

Cheers
Harper

And the winner is...Sidney

Hello me fans

Last week was madness. I was on the edge of my high chair in anticipation. I could barely sleep I was so excited. Then when Mum said 'Sidney is here', I almost stopped drooling. How beaut was it to have my Melbourne cuz up in my town? More beaut than a never-ending supply of vanilla custard.

So, here's the highlights of Sidney's trip to Sydney to see me.

Here's me and Sid hanging in the park in our ace strollers. I am trying to teach him how to look cool and get the trucker arm happening, but he is posing for the camera. I never do that.

And who thought they were the hippest, most swinging baby in town? That would be Sidney PJ Diddy. Appearing at the Campsie RSL all this week, don't forget to try the buffet. Ladies bring a cheese.

And here is Sidney again. Hmmm, this is my blog, not his, he has his own. Anyway, this is him boning up on who is in contention for a Gold Logie.

Hey! This is not on. Sidney again, this time with his mum, on my blog! This has got to end.

Yes Sidney PJ Esposito, I am looking at you. You keep taking over my blog and I will take you down, chubby cheeks. Just as soon as I am finished with lunch. Finally back to me. Here's me tuning my guitar so I can bust some sweet tunes to impress the ladies. About three minutes after mum took this pic, I played Sweet Child O' Mine. Behind my head. While drinking a beer and with my legs on fire. I am pretty damn cool.

So there you go. A blog sort of about me, when that southern interloper and his toddler tits aren't hogging all the space. It was ace having Sid and Auntie Alice about, although I got the feeling Sid was missing his dad and the gun show by the end of his visit. My dad's guns are way pathetic when compared to Uncle Greggy's.

Cheers
Harper

Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of me and the chicks

Hi there

Ever stopped and looked around, and realised you are totally surrounded by chicks? I had one of those moments today when Chloe, Olivia, Grace and Laura came over to play.

As Dad wants me to be a rock star, I guess I better get used to this.

And I want you all to realise, this is two blogs in two weeks...despite the fact NO ONE left a comment last week. What's wrong with you people, are your fingers broken? Are they painted on? Are they optional extras and you forget to put them on when you visit here? Come on, show me some love. I'm working hard here.

Debs, you're pardoned because you're in Tassie and they don't have electricity yet so it's hard to surf the intermanet. And I still love you. But for everyone else...grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Here's me with the sweet ladies. The eagle-eyed will notice I am eating a red Subaru Impreza WRX. When in north Victoria, I chose to buy my WRXs at Ken Muston Automotives. No lemons!

More ladies...man, it's a hard life. The hot chick on the left is Robin, who I believe is my second cousin. On the right is mum's Auntie Sheree, which makes her my great Auntie maybe? Who knows these things?

You know, I am not smiley, happy, bundle of joy Harper everyday. No, some days I spit the dummy, chuck a wobbly and lose my poo...sometimes at the same time. Here's me trying to escape from the high chair, while my parenting-challenged father has a beer. Someone ring DoCS.

This is the day the vacuum cleaner broke my heart. We were getting along so well, I thought everything was great, then Vaccy says "it's not you, it's me" and my world fell apart. I hit the bottle (of milk) and did some things I regret. Like wear this T-shirt dad bought for me in NZ. He thinks beavers are funny. Why? I don't get it. And I think it's actually an otter.

My ace clam-shaped pool thing is now a sandpit. Mum took me to Bunnings (hey, jealous much Uncle Greg?) where Lars the man-child served mum again. It's pretty sweet, as long as we remember to put the lid down to stop the local cats from using it as a nappy.

Sand isn't as tasty as potting mix, but still pretty good. And those wanting to lose a few kilo should try this silicone-based diet I am working on. You eat sand...that's all I am up to.

Auntie Alice is bringing Sidney and his toddler tits up to Sydney next week, which I am pretty pumped about. I am looking forward to some baby rumbling, some drooling and some eating competitions. I should get into training, Sidney sure is bursting out of his muscle tees.

Cheers
Harper

Man of action

Hiya fans

Yep, been getting out and about of recent. It's my popularity you see, it keeps me busy. Whether it's in the garden, looking at myself in the reflection of the back door or hanging out in Harris Park, I am the original man of action.

In the garden, I like to eat potting mix. I know, it's full of stuff you shouldn't eat, but damn it's tasty. All mum and dad have to do is leave the back door open and I am out like a shot and straight to the pots. When I am older, the pots will be of beer.

Damn I am cute. I have probably just put something in my gob, or mum caught me doing something I know I am not supposed to do. Like putting something in my gob.

So, I'm in training right. I'm gonna run this marathon to prove to my ex-girlfriend that I am the one for her...or something. Mum saw this movie called Run Fat Boy Run and that was the entire plot apparently. The Fat Boy didn't wear sweet Dunlop Volleys, so I would kick his arse.

Yes, the back door. A favourite place to sit and ponder how good looking I am.

Truly, if mum turns her back, I am off. There is so much to see, do and eat in the garden. And it's my job to hassle the basil plant (it's behind the watering can).

I went out to Harris Park the other weekend to help Jones celebrate her first birthday. Here we are with our dads just being Aussies in the backyard. Dad tried to show Dan how to barbecue.

That was after I showed Dad how to light it.

Later, I tried a bit of backyard dentisty on Jones. She has about the same amount of teeth as I do. I was also exploring the fridge magnets, which I heard were not very appropriate for small kids. Hey, gotta learn somehow.

And there you are, my recent adventures, distilled into a short, concise blog for your consumption.

Just don't drink it all in too quicky - you will get overwhelmed by the awesomeness of me and need a lie down. Like daddy does after a few KBs at Jets. Speaking of which, dad has promised to take me back to Henson Park in a few weeks. Look out for that blog, it will be, um, Jetty.

Cheers
Harper

Kia ora bros!

Hey bros

I've been hanging with my cuzzies in Wellington. That's in New Zealand eh bro. Yeah, I've been over the ditch with mum and dad and it was sweet as.

Below are some piccies of my awesome adventures. Fush and chups! Cook me some eggs! I'll have sex beers thanks!

Here's me and dad at the Departure gate. Dad is grinning like an idiot. I am not sure why, but he was drinking champagne on the way over...and it was a morning flight.

You want proof I was in Wellington? Zoom in on this pic - Split Enz are playing at the TSB Arena on March 25 (tickets at Ticketek.co.nz if you are keen).

The Botanical Gardens were ace. The playground was enormous and I had a beaut time on the see saw. I am up so high cos Dad is a fat bastard.

In Wellington, I choose to stay at Heather and Peter's place, in Wadestown. Here I am chillin' with their girls, Poppy and Soraya. I don't want to brag, but I got to bath with both of them...at the same time. Yeah man. Sweet.

One day, we were just cruisin' around Wellington in our totally hott Corolla when Dad spied the NZ cricket team practising at the Basin Reserve. So we pulled a park and headed in. Here's me with mum outside a museum to NZ cricket...yeah, I know, apart from the underarm incident back in 1981, what else could they have in there?

Here I am trying to get over the fence and onto the ground, to impress the lads with my sweet jacket. Thanks ma ma. It also looks like I am modelling for KMart.

And here's the real reason Mum was so keen on watching the boys train - some bloke called Daniel Vettori. Dad tells me he is the captain of the team, a very good left arm spinner, a very handy number eight batsman and is actually good enough to play for Australia. Mum told me that he was the business. I don't know what that means, but she was drooling more than me.

Here's me and Dad on NZ's longest swing bridge. It's high over a river and is indeed quite long. And when the wind blows, which is almost constant in NZ, this thing seriously bends. Which is why we didn't cross it. There was nothing on the other side anyway.

And lastly, I finally found something interesting to read on the plane on the way home. The safety card for the Airbus 320 is a great read - short on words but big on plot. Apparently they all made it out in the end down some sort of inflatable slide. Phew.

And there you go, fun for all in the capital city of our neighbours, them Kiwi people. They are nice folk, short with hairy feet, but they speak enough English for you to get by and they make some brilliant wine (so Dad reckons). Mum's not too keen on the deep fried fish, but that's another story. I can't tell you it now, cos she's be spewing if I did.

Cheers
Harper