And the winner is...Sidney

Hello me fans

Last week was madness. I was on the edge of my high chair in anticipation. I could barely sleep I was so excited. Then when Mum said 'Sidney is here', I almost stopped drooling. How beaut was it to have my Melbourne cuz up in my town? More beaut than a never-ending supply of vanilla custard.

So, here's the highlights of Sidney's trip to Sydney to see me.

Here's me and Sid hanging in the park in our ace strollers. I am trying to teach him how to look cool and get the trucker arm happening, but he is posing for the camera. I never do that.

And who thought they were the hippest, most swinging baby in town? That would be Sidney PJ Diddy. Appearing at the Campsie RSL all this week, don't forget to try the buffet. Ladies bring a cheese.

And here is Sidney again. Hmmm, this is my blog, not his, he has his own. Anyway, this is him boning up on who is in contention for a Gold Logie.

Hey! This is not on. Sidney again, this time with his mum, on my blog! This has got to end.

Yes Sidney PJ Esposito, I am looking at you. You keep taking over my blog and I will take you down, chubby cheeks. Just as soon as I am finished with lunch. Finally back to me. Here's me tuning my guitar so I can bust some sweet tunes to impress the ladies. About three minutes after mum took this pic, I played Sweet Child O' Mine. Behind my head. While drinking a beer and with my legs on fire. I am pretty damn cool.

So there you go. A blog sort of about me, when that southern interloper and his toddler tits aren't hogging all the space. It was ace having Sid and Auntie Alice about, although I got the feeling Sid was missing his dad and the gun show by the end of his visit. My dad's guns are way pathetic when compared to Uncle Greggy's.

Cheers
Harper

Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of me and the chicks

Hi there

Ever stopped and looked around, and realised you are totally surrounded by chicks? I had one of those moments today when Chloe, Olivia, Grace and Laura came over to play.

As Dad wants me to be a rock star, I guess I better get used to this.

And I want you all to realise, this is two blogs in two weeks...despite the fact NO ONE left a comment last week. What's wrong with you people, are your fingers broken? Are they painted on? Are they optional extras and you forget to put them on when you visit here? Come on, show me some love. I'm working hard here.

Debs, you're pardoned because you're in Tassie and they don't have electricity yet so it's hard to surf the intermanet. And I still love you. But for everyone else...grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Here's me with the sweet ladies. The eagle-eyed will notice I am eating a red Subaru Impreza WRX. When in north Victoria, I chose to buy my WRXs at Ken Muston Automotives. No lemons!

More ladies...man, it's a hard life. The hot chick on the left is Robin, who I believe is my second cousin. On the right is mum's Auntie Sheree, which makes her my great Auntie maybe? Who knows these things?

You know, I am not smiley, happy, bundle of joy Harper everyday. No, some days I spit the dummy, chuck a wobbly and lose my poo...sometimes at the same time. Here's me trying to escape from the high chair, while my parenting-challenged father has a beer. Someone ring DoCS.

This is the day the vacuum cleaner broke my heart. We were getting along so well, I thought everything was great, then Vaccy says "it's not you, it's me" and my world fell apart. I hit the bottle (of milk) and did some things I regret. Like wear this T-shirt dad bought for me in NZ. He thinks beavers are funny. Why? I don't get it. And I think it's actually an otter.

My ace clam-shaped pool thing is now a sandpit. Mum took me to Bunnings (hey, jealous much Uncle Greg?) where Lars the man-child served mum again. It's pretty sweet, as long as we remember to put the lid down to stop the local cats from using it as a nappy.

Sand isn't as tasty as potting mix, but still pretty good. And those wanting to lose a few kilo should try this silicone-based diet I am working on. You eat sand...that's all I am up to.

Auntie Alice is bringing Sidney and his toddler tits up to Sydney next week, which I am pretty pumped about. I am looking forward to some baby rumbling, some drooling and some eating competitions. I should get into training, Sidney sure is bursting out of his muscle tees.

Cheers
Harper

Man of action

Hiya fans

Yep, been getting out and about of recent. It's my popularity you see, it keeps me busy. Whether it's in the garden, looking at myself in the reflection of the back door or hanging out in Harris Park, I am the original man of action.

In the garden, I like to eat potting mix. I know, it's full of stuff you shouldn't eat, but damn it's tasty. All mum and dad have to do is leave the back door open and I am out like a shot and straight to the pots. When I am older, the pots will be of beer.

Damn I am cute. I have probably just put something in my gob, or mum caught me doing something I know I am not supposed to do. Like putting something in my gob.

So, I'm in training right. I'm gonna run this marathon to prove to my ex-girlfriend that I am the one for her...or something. Mum saw this movie called Run Fat Boy Run and that was the entire plot apparently. The Fat Boy didn't wear sweet Dunlop Volleys, so I would kick his arse.

Yes, the back door. A favourite place to sit and ponder how good looking I am.

Truly, if mum turns her back, I am off. There is so much to see, do and eat in the garden. And it's my job to hassle the basil plant (it's behind the watering can).

I went out to Harris Park the other weekend to help Jones celebrate her first birthday. Here we are with our dads just being Aussies in the backyard. Dad tried to show Dan how to barbecue.

That was after I showed Dad how to light it.

Later, I tried a bit of backyard dentisty on Jones. She has about the same amount of teeth as I do. I was also exploring the fridge magnets, which I heard were not very appropriate for small kids. Hey, gotta learn somehow.

And there you are, my recent adventures, distilled into a short, concise blog for your consumption.

Just don't drink it all in too quicky - you will get overwhelmed by the awesomeness of me and need a lie down. Like daddy does after a few KBs at Jets. Speaking of which, dad has promised to take me back to Henson Park in a few weeks. Look out for that blog, it will be, um, Jetty.

Cheers
Harper

Kia ora bros!

Hey bros

I've been hanging with my cuzzies in Wellington. That's in New Zealand eh bro. Yeah, I've been over the ditch with mum and dad and it was sweet as.

Below are some piccies of my awesome adventures. Fush and chups! Cook me some eggs! I'll have sex beers thanks!

Here's me and dad at the Departure gate. Dad is grinning like an idiot. I am not sure why, but he was drinking champagne on the way over...and it was a morning flight.

You want proof I was in Wellington? Zoom in on this pic - Split Enz are playing at the TSB Arena on March 25 (tickets at Ticketek.co.nz if you are keen).

The Botanical Gardens were ace. The playground was enormous and I had a beaut time on the see saw. I am up so high cos Dad is a fat bastard.

In Wellington, I choose to stay at Heather and Peter's place, in Wadestown. Here I am chillin' with their girls, Poppy and Soraya. I don't want to brag, but I got to bath with both of them...at the same time. Yeah man. Sweet.

One day, we were just cruisin' around Wellington in our totally hott Corolla when Dad spied the NZ cricket team practising at the Basin Reserve. So we pulled a park and headed in. Here's me with mum outside a museum to NZ cricket...yeah, I know, apart from the underarm incident back in 1981, what else could they have in there?

Here I am trying to get over the fence and onto the ground, to impress the lads with my sweet jacket. Thanks ma ma. It also looks like I am modelling for KMart.

And here's the real reason Mum was so keen on watching the boys train - some bloke called Daniel Vettori. Dad tells me he is the captain of the team, a very good left arm spinner, a very handy number eight batsman and is actually good enough to play for Australia. Mum told me that he was the business. I don't know what that means, but she was drooling more than me.

Here's me and Dad on NZ's longest swing bridge. It's high over a river and is indeed quite long. And when the wind blows, which is almost constant in NZ, this thing seriously bends. Which is why we didn't cross it. There was nothing on the other side anyway.

And lastly, I finally found something interesting to read on the plane on the way home. The safety card for the Airbus 320 is a great read - short on words but big on plot. Apparently they all made it out in the end down some sort of inflatable slide. Phew.

And there you go, fun for all in the capital city of our neighbours, them Kiwi people. They are nice folk, short with hairy feet, but they speak enough English for you to get by and they make some brilliant wine (so Dad reckons). Mum's not too keen on the deep fried fish, but that's another story. I can't tell you it now, cos she's be spewing if I did.

Cheers
Harper

Sorry, been too busy

Hi everyone

Yeah, been busy. Doin' what? Glad you asked...

I've been down to Bowral to watch our Aussie cricket ladies take on the Poms. Sadly, while i was there, England put on about 120 runs without losing a wicket. Here's a picture of me telling the English fans what I thought about that. Fat sunburnt losers...

Then i had Spike Angwin around for the day. i challenged him to a rumble, but he wasn't up for it, reckons he had a bit of a cold. That's OK Angwin, next time you're going down.

I am very busy even when it's just mum and me. Here's me picking the night's dinner. I believe it was a delightful zucchini salad with crumbed fetta. Not that i got to eat it. No, i only got to eat yummy beef casserole.

And here's me tidying up my toys. If by tidying you mean smashing stuff into the floor, then yes, i was tidying.

And here's me vacuuming the hallway. i love the vacuum cleaner. It's like having a pet you don't have to walk or feed and that doesn't mind being sat on and chewed.

And here's me sorting out the recycling. This is one of my favourite chores, I really get into it. TV Week is almost unrecognisable by the time I have finished sorting it. Improves it no end i think.

And finally, after all the rain, I managed to get outside. But what does mum and dad do? They cage me so i can't play in the puddles. Or eat acorns. Killjoys.

Gotta run, busy busy. I think there is something still in the fridge that I haven't eaten.

Cheers
Harper

Mmmm, Melbourne, Max and memories...

Hiya

It's been a big few weeks in Harper-land, let me tell you. A trip to Melbourne and my brother's birthday kept me pretty busy.

First it was a long weekend in Melbourne. I got to hang with my little cousin Sidney, and Auntie Alice and Uncle Greg, and I also got to spend some time with Auntie Kara and Mama and Papa. I also met my great Grandma in some place called Ballarat where half of Papa's relatives seem to live. They all have dark hair and eyes like me...spooky.

Sidney hasn't worked out how to work the camera yet...but he will, after I give him a few lessons. I call this pose 'Young Summer', and it's a cracker. Sidney can't even turn left yet.

Sidney is also known as Lucky Cat. His arm just waves up and down, like a, er, lucky cat in Chinatown. There is a joke here about eating cats, but I am above that.

You know, when Auntie Alice read Where Is the Green Sheep?, it ended the same, with Green Sheep fast asleep. I should have picked it.

The Esposito vege garden is a place of wonder. Giant zucchinis, red tomatoes and some other stuff, like tasty dirt, which I was probably eating in this pic. Dad is wearing an apron Auntie Alive whipped up - it makes him look Tongan.

Here's me hanging with the old men in the kitchen, pretending to be interested in Old MacDonald and his farm. I mean, really, I was getting bored of Greg and his 'gun show'. The bit where he kisses them and says 'locked and loaded...baby' is kind of creepy don't you think?

On Max's birthday, we went to the zoo. At the zoo, there is an ace elephant exhibit, and mum took me up to the lookout to get a jumbo view. We had a beaut day, although I slept through the bird show, which apparently now has a condor and that is apparently very cool. I only heard that about a thousand times. And finally, my first cake. A red cup cake of course, for Max. Only seconds later, this cup cake was smashed into a thousand pieces all over my face. I think I even managed to eat some.

Ah, a huge couple of weeks. Some happy times, some sad times, but I guess that life in six words, isn't it?

Man, that was deep for a nine-month-old. Sorry about that.

Cheers
Harper

Hey swingers!

Hi everyone

It's true, I have teeth. A whole new world of biting has opened up before me. And I think I am drooling even more. I already have crawling down pat, as well as pulling myself up to standing on things, like chairs, cots and legs. Next I think I might juggle.

Oh, and if you're not cool man, and open minded, and into nature and its naturists, you might want to avert your eyes from some of the below pics, cos they are sizzling with me nuding up. I am one hot baby.

I got a postcard from Tommy and Lucy from New York. And mum got a new haircut. It's just all action round here. I can also hold post cards apparently.

Hey, Uncle Tom, this is me with ANOTHER box of BBQ Shapes. Jealous much? Huh? Yeah, suffer in your jocks.

I like to crawl around the backyard and eat strange things. My ace clam-shaped pool in the background wasn't to know it was only days away from me getting nude in it.

And here I am, nuding up in the great outdoors, in my ace clam-shaped pool, courtesy of Gillian. The chances of Gillian nuding up with me in my pool...about a gazillion to one. Her loss. The chances of Gillian walking into one of mum's pot plants...about three to one, especially if Star Of Ramen is around.

If you look real close, you can see my teeth. No really, on the bottom gum. I made mum and dad work hard for it though, it took two days to get this pic.

Have I mentioned how much I love my swing? It's just ace as. Grouse even...

... in fact, it's so ace, I just had to nude up in it. Cos nude swinging is just, so, Sydney. Oh yeah baby.

So that's another ace blog for you people. You'll be talking about this one for years. I can just see it, in 10 years time, you'll ask someone "where were you when Harper posted that blog with him nude in the swing?" and they'll probably say "um, in front of the computer".

Memorable.

Cheers
Harper