Kia ora bros!

Hey bros

I've been hanging with my cuzzies in Wellington. That's in New Zealand eh bro. Yeah, I've been over the ditch with mum and dad and it was sweet as.

Below are some piccies of my awesome adventures. Fush and chups! Cook me some eggs! I'll have sex beers thanks!

Here's me and dad at the Departure gate. Dad is grinning like an idiot. I am not sure why, but he was drinking champagne on the way over...and it was a morning flight.

You want proof I was in Wellington? Zoom in on this pic - Split Enz are playing at the TSB Arena on March 25 (tickets at Ticketek.co.nz if you are keen).

The Botanical Gardens were ace. The playground was enormous and I had a beaut time on the see saw. I am up so high cos Dad is a fat bastard.

In Wellington, I choose to stay at Heather and Peter's place, in Wadestown. Here I am chillin' with their girls, Poppy and Soraya. I don't want to brag, but I got to bath with both of them...at the same time. Yeah man. Sweet.

One day, we were just cruisin' around Wellington in our totally hott Corolla when Dad spied the NZ cricket team practising at the Basin Reserve. So we pulled a park and headed in. Here's me with mum outside a museum to NZ cricket...yeah, I know, apart from the underarm incident back in 1981, what else could they have in there?

Here I am trying to get over the fence and onto the ground, to impress the lads with my sweet jacket. Thanks ma ma. It also looks like I am modelling for KMart.

And here's the real reason Mum was so keen on watching the boys train - some bloke called Daniel Vettori. Dad tells me he is the captain of the team, a very good left arm spinner, a very handy number eight batsman and is actually good enough to play for Australia. Mum told me that he was the business. I don't know what that means, but she was drooling more than me.

Here's me and Dad on NZ's longest swing bridge. It's high over a river and is indeed quite long. And when the wind blows, which is almost constant in NZ, this thing seriously bends. Which is why we didn't cross it. There was nothing on the other side anyway.

And lastly, I finally found something interesting to read on the plane on the way home. The safety card for the Airbus 320 is a great read - short on words but big on plot. Apparently they all made it out in the end down some sort of inflatable slide. Phew.

And there you go, fun for all in the capital city of our neighbours, them Kiwi people. They are nice folk, short with hairy feet, but they speak enough English for you to get by and they make some brilliant wine (so Dad reckons). Mum's not too keen on the deep fried fish, but that's another story. I can't tell you it now, cos she's be spewing if I did.

Cheers
Harper

Sorry, been too busy

Hi everyone

Yeah, been busy. Doin' what? Glad you asked...

I've been down to Bowral to watch our Aussie cricket ladies take on the Poms. Sadly, while i was there, England put on about 120 runs without losing a wicket. Here's a picture of me telling the English fans what I thought about that. Fat sunburnt losers...

Then i had Spike Angwin around for the day. i challenged him to a rumble, but he wasn't up for it, reckons he had a bit of a cold. That's OK Angwin, next time you're going down.

I am very busy even when it's just mum and me. Here's me picking the night's dinner. I believe it was a delightful zucchini salad with crumbed fetta. Not that i got to eat it. No, i only got to eat yummy beef casserole.

And here's me tidying up my toys. If by tidying you mean smashing stuff into the floor, then yes, i was tidying.

And here's me vacuuming the hallway. i love the vacuum cleaner. It's like having a pet you don't have to walk or feed and that doesn't mind being sat on and chewed.

And here's me sorting out the recycling. This is one of my favourite chores, I really get into it. TV Week is almost unrecognisable by the time I have finished sorting it. Improves it no end i think.

And finally, after all the rain, I managed to get outside. But what does mum and dad do? They cage me so i can't play in the puddles. Or eat acorns. Killjoys.

Gotta run, busy busy. I think there is something still in the fridge that I haven't eaten.

Cheers
Harper

Mmmm, Melbourne, Max and memories...

Hiya

It's been a big few weeks in Harper-land, let me tell you. A trip to Melbourne and my brother's birthday kept me pretty busy.

First it was a long weekend in Melbourne. I got to hang with my little cousin Sidney, and Auntie Alice and Uncle Greg, and I also got to spend some time with Auntie Kara and Mama and Papa. I also met my great Grandma in some place called Ballarat where half of Papa's relatives seem to live. They all have dark hair and eyes like me...spooky.

Sidney hasn't worked out how to work the camera yet...but he will, after I give him a few lessons. I call this pose 'Young Summer', and it's a cracker. Sidney can't even turn left yet.

Sidney is also known as Lucky Cat. His arm just waves up and down, like a, er, lucky cat in Chinatown. There is a joke here about eating cats, but I am above that.

You know, when Auntie Alice read Where Is the Green Sheep?, it ended the same, with Green Sheep fast asleep. I should have picked it.

The Esposito vege garden is a place of wonder. Giant zucchinis, red tomatoes and some other stuff, like tasty dirt, which I was probably eating in this pic. Dad is wearing an apron Auntie Alive whipped up - it makes him look Tongan.

Here's me hanging with the old men in the kitchen, pretending to be interested in Old MacDonald and his farm. I mean, really, I was getting bored of Greg and his 'gun show'. The bit where he kisses them and says 'locked and loaded...baby' is kind of creepy don't you think?

On Max's birthday, we went to the zoo. At the zoo, there is an ace elephant exhibit, and mum took me up to the lookout to get a jumbo view. We had a beaut day, although I slept through the bird show, which apparently now has a condor and that is apparently very cool. I only heard that about a thousand times. And finally, my first cake. A red cup cake of course, for Max. Only seconds later, this cup cake was smashed into a thousand pieces all over my face. I think I even managed to eat some.

Ah, a huge couple of weeks. Some happy times, some sad times, but I guess that life in six words, isn't it?

Man, that was deep for a nine-month-old. Sorry about that.

Cheers
Harper

Hey swingers!

Hi everyone

It's true, I have teeth. A whole new world of biting has opened up before me. And I think I am drooling even more. I already have crawling down pat, as well as pulling myself up to standing on things, like chairs, cots and legs. Next I think I might juggle.

Oh, and if you're not cool man, and open minded, and into nature and its naturists, you might want to avert your eyes from some of the below pics, cos they are sizzling with me nuding up. I am one hot baby.

I got a postcard from Tommy and Lucy from New York. And mum got a new haircut. It's just all action round here. I can also hold post cards apparently.

Hey, Uncle Tom, this is me with ANOTHER box of BBQ Shapes. Jealous much? Huh? Yeah, suffer in your jocks.

I like to crawl around the backyard and eat strange things. My ace clam-shaped pool in the background wasn't to know it was only days away from me getting nude in it.

And here I am, nuding up in the great outdoors, in my ace clam-shaped pool, courtesy of Gillian. The chances of Gillian nuding up with me in my pool...about a gazillion to one. Her loss. The chances of Gillian walking into one of mum's pot plants...about three to one, especially if Star Of Ramen is around.

If you look real close, you can see my teeth. No really, on the bottom gum. I made mum and dad work hard for it though, it took two days to get this pic.

Have I mentioned how much I love my swing? It's just ace as. Grouse even...

... in fact, it's so ace, I just had to nude up in it. Cos nude swinging is just, so, Sydney. Oh yeah baby.

So that's another ace blog for you people. You'll be talking about this one for years. I can just see it, in 10 years time, you'll ask someone "where were you when Harper posted that blog with him nude in the swing?" and they'll probably say "um, in front of the computer".

Memorable.

Cheers
Harper

BBQ Shapes saved my life

Hi folks

Hey, it's 2008. What happened to 2007? It feels like I missed some of it. I mean, I don't even remember March or April.

So, below are a stack of, quite simply, ACE pictures. If they were a playing card, they'd be the Ace of Spades. That ace.

BBQ Shapes have saved mum and dad's life on many occasions. So I thought I should check them out. Mmmm, baked not fried goodness. And on this occasion, they also saved Aaron and Gillian's life as well. It was New Year's Day after all. I can't wait to be old enough to know what NYE is.

Moths. Fascinating things. No, I didn't eat it. Lucky for Mr Moth he was on the outside of the window or he would have been a tasty snack. And I think mum should wash the window, I may have drooled a bit on it.

Checking out the Sydney Festival just the other day. It was culture with a capital K. We had a look at some origami stuff, lots of paper cranes, some very big ones hanging from the trees. And I got to leave a message for Sydney of the future. Mine? "Less work, more play". Short and sweeeeeeeet.

My parents are cruel. They think this is funny.

Yes, I know, cute. Just damn cute. But these stripes really do make me look fatter than what I am. At least mum didn't put me in the oven.

Check out my hot sunglasses - thanks Uncle Tommy and Auntie Lucy.

Sometimes boob milk and vegemite toast just isn't enough, I need flesh. Living human flesh. Man I hope I get teeth soon cos gumming dad's finger got me nowhere.

I am not sure what is going on here. I am not sad, not happy, not doing poo, not trying to eat my feet or get into the bin. Just...not sure. So mum takes a pic. Thanks mum. That's beaut.

It's gonna be a big 2008, I predict I will get teeth, walk, turn one and have a party (May 1 - party at my place, you can come...ladies bring a cheese). I also predict I will watch plenty of footy, read Where Is The Green Sheep? quite a few times and get plenty more pics taken of me.

Of course.

I might even get to meet Uncle Tommy and Auntie Lucy in the flesh.

Rock.

Cheers
Harper

My first Christmas and stuff

Merry Christmas family, friends and fans!

Yes, my first Christmas, and man was it cool. It was all about me. As you will see, many others thought so too.

I scored a boat-load of goodies, from toys to clothes to, er, toys. I will never be short of toys. And books. My fave toy so far has been a red steering wheel toy from Auntie Kara that has makes heaps of sounds. I know mum and dad really love it when I bash at it for ages. Or better, when I lie on it and it makes mad sounds without me having to do a thing. Mum and dad are looking forward to when Auntie Kara has kids, so they can buy them drums and cap guns.

Mum made some red cup cakes for my girlfriend Jasmine, as we went out to Cherrybrook to visit her and her parents, Linda and Chris. Red cup cakes are also for my brother Maxwell. I look a bit surly, cos I don't get to eat them.

Dad played cricket last weekend. Well, he sat for most of the day, went and batted for about six overs and made eight runs. Hardly worth the effort really.

I wasn't kidding before when I said Christmas was about me. Look, here's me climbing my mountain of presents. It was madness. A very sweet madness.

Then I lorded over mum and dad's Christmas lunch and demanded they entertain me. Here they sacrifice a cracker in my name to ensure it rains. Later, they peeled grapes for me while wearing togas then dad wrestled lions while mum plotted my downfall with co-conspiritors. Will every Christmas be so dramatic? And for the eagle-eyed, my sweet new swing is hanging off the tree.

My Christmas lunch consisted of chicken and broccoli. You can see the chicken here, not quite making it into my mouth...which is unusual.

I was so hungry later that I had to raid the bin looking for scraps. Mum totally sprung me. I think she has the bin alarmed. Sneaky woman.

As you can see, I am wasting away. NOT. I hope mum's kisses are sugar-free or I could be the size of the beached whale by Easter (which I have heard also involves lots of food. That sounds pretty ace as well).

So, next stop, New Years Eve. My first. And it should be a cracker, judging by the preview of the fireworks we had here in Campsie on Christmas Eve. Sydney Harbour? That's for losers. The cool kids hang in Campsie and let the locals go nuts with their hauls from Canberra. Ace.

I hope everyone's Christmas was as fun and crackers as mine, and mum and dads. And that 2008 brings us all lots of adventures and lotto wins. I want a toy Porsche!

Cheers
Harper

Road Trippin'

Hi fans

I've been on the road, hitting the hotspots like Gundagai, Shepparton, North Fitzroy, Thornbury, West Brunswick, East St Kilda, Broadford, Nagambie, Tocumwal and Albury. Pretty exciting stuff huh?

And of course, there are a stack of ace pics of my adventures.

I like an outdoor bath, nuding up in nature is beaut. This is in Shepp-mate.

Here's me meeting my brand new cousin Sidney. I look forward to getting into lots of trouble with him when we are older.

Mum and dad might find the camera interesting, but me, i prefer staring at beer. This is at The Retreat Hotel in Brunswick. Of course, many people came to see me. Some might have been for mum and dad as well, but i doubt it.

Are you lookin' at me? The bathroom sink at Geroge's place in North Fitzroy is just the just size for me to kick it back.

Bashing my dad with wrestling moves is a favourite pastime. Here I am trying to break his jaw so he has to eat pureed food like me.

The Retreat again, hanging with the ladies, such as George, Monica, Vicki, Lisa, Monica's bloke Ben (OK, he's not a lady) and mama. I am, as always, the centre of attention.

The backyard in Shepp-mate was a freaky place. One minute, there was mama, next minute, there was two mamas. Madness!

And no trip to Shepp-mate would be complete without a trip to the Kenwood Cow outside the Aussie. Check out the massive horn between my legs! Can you believe my mum picked this photo?

Cheers
Harper